Nothing You Can’t Do

June hears them first and pulls us into the square.

“Welcome to New York, Welcome to New York!” Two dozen big gay voices.

This is exactly why I moved to the Castro at twenty, and bought in the West Village at fifty. Freedom, like singing, comes from the drawing of breath.

Michael arrives for Empire State of Mind. We played it at our wedding.

He whoops for the top-knotted soloist, but I catch him eyeballing a hard-looking white-boy taking pictures outside the fence. He’s worried about an alt-right assault, I know it.

Dance with your daughter, McCormick. Fill your lungs.

IMG_0089

Jogging the High Line

He arrives early enough. Walkways are clear, although many benches are occupied. The homeless seem to sleep in.

There were sweeping city views the first time he was here, during the summer of online dating that lead miraculously to Julie.

That day’s Digi-Match was Greek. So is McCormick, on his mother’s side. She had shiny black hair and believed in angels. Told him about a friend’s child whose aura was indigo. Who had been born to save.

He called her again—Nikki—but she didn’t return. Ego dent. And new construction has made a narrow valley of this fancy park.

IMG_5928

 

Handing it Down

Reading Harry Potter aloud. June tracks it, but only stops practicing headstands when there is a picture. Her favorite is a bleeding ghost.

nearly-headless-nick

The Hobbit had no illustrations, but Bill’s reading voice was smooth like his singing. Delaware nights. Couch up on cinder blocks, bouzouki leaning spot lit in the corner beneath a lamp.

McGonagall tells Harry he’s made the Quidditch team, like his father before him.

“Wow, now Harry knows what he’s really good at,” says McCormick, compulsive provider of object lessons.

“Now he knows he had a real family,” June answers, because she is where it all resides.

 

 

Things He Wanted to Be (1)

The Mighty Thor, who could fly if he had his hammer.

A cowboy. His banana seat was a saddle, alleyways dry riverbeds, the rack at school a hitching post.

 

cowboy_bike_s

A lawyer, because it was good to prove people wrong, and he watched Perry Mason summer mornings on channel 11, and talk came easy.

Then a writer. The pleasure of converting deeds into words—things you could call poems—struck him in college and he started thinking how well they used their loneliness (Hemingway in the bunker, Salinger at the farmhouse, Woolf in her hard-won room).

Only last (resigning?) a teacher.

 

How’s the Frost Out on the Pumpkin?

Julie and the contractor consider stains for June’s new bed and closet.

Recalls a prompt he gives students. What’s the first room in which you remember falling asleep?

June’s window reveals green-leaved limbs, a sweet swath of sky, a balcony directly across where four Dachshunds pee at barking intervals. At sunset, tattooed owners dine on the same concrete plat.

McCormick’s place is Montana. Cinder block bare in Married Student Housing. To doze off, he listens to Bulldog football and songs that weren’t popular in Delaware. “The Streak.” “Country Bumpkin.”

Should be a lonely memory, but no. He was good then.

9011511-1960-s-era-transistor-radio-isolated-on-a-white-background--Stock-Photo

 

 

 

 

Where the Love Is

Grandparents are different from parents. Grandparents never get mad, but they are very worried if you go a few feet into the ocean with, like, even a tiny wave coming.

I have a Yiayia and Papou and a Halmoni and Haroboji, because I am half Korean and half New York.

Daddy says some of me came from him and is Greek. Crazy right? There wasn’t Greek in mommy’s belly.

Parents make you say sorry when they get frustrated. And sometimes they are sad.

Mommy cried a lot when Imo (Aunt Sue) died. Halmi and Harbi never even say her name.

IMG_7640

 

Why He Didn’t Join them in K-Town

According to his grandmother, people named Grivas died with their own hair and teeth.

And McCormick always believed going gray at thirty meant he wouldn’t suffer baldness. If he didn’t wear hats he probably wouldn’t recede at all.

As for teeth, he’s replaced what God gave him with titanium more than once.

He texts a photo from the chair to Julie (Jung-hye), who’s at lunch with her brother-in-law, niece, and June. They lost their sister, wife, mom, aunt (Sun-hi) in April.

IMG_9724 2

He hates kimchi, but still feels left out. He taps another text:

Dr. Lotus says I have complicated roots.